Helping Other People Find Their Why
In my last post I talked about how to find your own why for doing something. Not only is this key for success in anything in life, but it is crucial to do before leading others. In today’s post we will expand outside of ourselves and learn how to help other people find their why.
The first step in helping people find their why is to ask what you have in common with them. This is a simple way to start at a base level and find a way to connect with them before giving them important advice. This serves two purposes. One, it will give you a way to learn something new about the person. Typically, when people have shared interests it allows the other person to feel more comfortable in taking advice or developing a relationship. Two, it allows you to learn if the person likes doing that activity or not. For example, you both may play soccer, but the other person is doing it because his parents want him to. This will give you a chance to find out something that they are passionate about and find their likes and dislikes.
The next step is to find something they are passionate about, if you didn’t already accomplish this with the previous step. This step is critical as it will allow you to get closer to finding their why in relation to something they are enthusiastic about doing. If they can’t think of anything, they are passionate about, it may help to change the question by asking, “what is something that makes you feel fulfilled when you do it?” This might help them to narrow their thinking by focusing on activities that make them feel a sense of purpose. The reason we have these activities in our lives is that God has made us for a specific purpose to glorify His name. In Exodus 9:16, God said to Moses, “But for this purpose I have raised you up, to show you my power, so that my name may be proclaimed in all the earth”. This passage was during the plagues in Egypt, and God was saying before this verse that it would be very simple for Him to stop all the plagues and force Pharaoh to let Moses’s people go. However, He chose to use Moses as a signpost back to God to make His name greater than Pharaoh’s in Egypt. Eventually Moses’s people are released from Pharaoh’s control just as God promised. So, take interest in finding what the other person is passionate about, because that is what God is using them for to give God the glory.
Next, ask them what the hardest thing was that they have experienced in this activity. This is a way to get deeper than the surface level of something they are passionate about doing. It will allow you to get some background on them and see what they have gone through in their life. This will allow you to develop more understanding for their situation and start to develop empathy which is necessary for a leader to have. Many times, we simply only know what the activity is they are doing and not the deep meaning behind it. This will not only give you insight on their past but allow you to give them motivation in the future.
Finally, ask them why they continue to do what they do, regardless of the hurdles they’ve had to jump in the process. This will hopefully help them to narrow their focus of why they continue to pursue this activity. This core motivation should be written down to use as a reference of their inner why. Some practical steps that can be made are using the motivation as a weekly check-in with them to see if they are remembering that during the week. Remember, finding someone’s why is not a one and done situation. It should consistently be evaluated to refine what gets someone out of bed every day. This is the whole purpose of finding someone’s why and with it we can do powerful things.
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